Have you felt upset and shared it with a friend or a family member who responded, “in a hundred years, who will care?” Did you feel heard? Did it feel like they were empathetic to your emotions? Often, responses are meant to be helpful, but they can be dismissive. “In a hundred years, who will care” does not honor where we are now and what we feel now. So what do we do? We share and explore.
First, acknowledge the person, “thank you for listening.” Next, we acknowledge and ask for what we need, “that may be true, but right now I would benefit by you being with me and listening,” or “that may be true, but I could use someone to talk to about this and explore ideas and options.” Family and friends often do not mean to be dismissive, and they may think this will lessen the impact of what is happening. Be willing to ask for what you need and see where it goes. They may not have an answer, but often that’s not what we need. If this is beyond where they are at, reach out to your mental health care provider.